But what about tomorrow?

War in a Shiite Neighborhood
By Anwar Ali


A woman fleeing Sadr City runs from sniper fire near an army checkpoint at the edge of the Baghdad neighborhood on Tuesday, April 8. (Photo: Michael Kamber for The New York Times)Anwar J. Ali is an Iraqi employee of The New York Times.
It was really unexpected how fast the situation developed in the streets of Baghdad last Thursday. Within two or three days in some Shiite neighborhoods battles erupted between security forces and the Mahdi Army.
At the beginning we thought that maybe things would settle down within a few days, and we would again be busy following other usual problems like mortar shells, car bombs, suicide bombers and I.E.D.s.
In fact most of the people in most of the Shiite neighborhoods like ours are Sadrist, if not Mahdi Army, and they are very many. So we thought that the government would not do anything serious here because the Sadrists are the majority, and we can find them even within the army and the police.
On Wednesday we started to feel the battle and to hear the explosions and as some neighborhoods were surrounded by joint Iraqi and American forces, some schools were closed, military checkpoints were threatened, shops were closed, employees were told to go home and the streets were almost empty.
On Thursday we woke up early in the morning, but this time not because of the alarm clock but because of nearby clashes that we heard for a short while. Then we said ‘So what? This is not new and we have got used to living in such conditions of bad violence.’
In fact I realized that we still want to believe that the security situation is improving and that those clashes are an illusion, and that the concrete proof of this is that we are still alive no matter what is going on around us.
So I try to deceive myself by not paying attention to those people who are standing in long queues in front of the bakery shops to get bread, or to by extra food that they can save for hard times.
I think I love the feeling of being in the middle of bloody danger while I’m still alive and not hurt, so far!

I wanted to go to my work that day and I was very excited and eager to go as new events are taking place. Although they are dangerous, yet they are not boring or ordinary.
So after the clashes stopped my husband drove me to work. We took the usual way but it was blocked by security forces. We turned to go another longer way around but that was closed too. We had one last way to try, but unfortunately it was in vain.
So we decided to go back home. We had to as we could hear heavy clashes in the surrounding neighborhoods, but the way home was blocked too. We tried two ways in order to reach our house but the checkpoint didn’t permit us. The checkpoint soldiers were very nervous and refused to listen to us.
We had no place to go so we parked the car 100 meters away from the checkpoint and I called my parents several times. They were worried and each time they said: “It erupted,” meaning the battle between the Mahdi Army and the security forces.
I became worried because we were waiting near the checkpoint, and it was in a Sunni neighborhood.
“For how long are we going to stay here?” I asked my husband. He said “I know that you are worried so please walk and go home and leave me here inside the car. Please do. Go, don’t wait here!”
“I can’t leave you alone,” I said, but he shouted at me and ordered me to go because our baby was waiting for us at my parents’ home.
I was unable to think. I left him alone in that area and I walked along with some people heading to my neighborhood.
In fact I couldn’t see my way because my eyes were full of tears. I was scared and angry. I saw American forces and Iraq police in my way, they were searching everyone.
“What will become of me? What will become of my husband?” went through my head for the next two hours, but it felt like two days amid the sound of the gunfire and explosions, separated from my husband and not knowing what had happened to him.
The sound of clashes was increasing as I came closer to my neighborhood. I felt that I could be shot at any time and my husband could be killed. I needed to be patient and strong to continue walking, and I prayed to God to see my husband again.
When I was very close to my neighborhood, my parents who live there sent my brother to pick me up and bring me home.
More than an hour later, after reaching home safely, I heard my brother shouting that my husband was home.
I couldn’t believe it. I took my baby and ran to the door to see my husband and he was back safe to us. We were so happy that day. But what about tomorrow?