October 19, 2008
Ahmadinejad's Daughter
Ebrahim Nabavi
Ahmadinejad's 10-year-old daughter was sitting next to her mother watching her daddy's speech at the United Nations and in the interviews in America. Her mommy also was staring at the television with a wide open mouth. Finally, beautiful Zahra, Mahmoud Pinocchio's 10-year-old daughter asker her mommy:
- "Mommy! Why is daddy saying these things?"
Mommy: "Your daddy is going to be the ruler of the world, and everyone is listening to him."
Daughter said: "Yes! Does that mean we will move out of Iran?"
Mommy: "Maybe we will. If your daddy becomes the ruler he will take us too."
Daddy said on American television: "In our country, true democracy governs."
Daughter: "Mommy! What does true democracy mean?"
Mommy: "It means that people choose whoever they want to be their ruler."
Daughter: "They are so lucky! What country is daddy talking about?"
… Mommy: "What can I say?"
Daddy said on American television: "In our country the press is free to say whatever it wants against the government."
Daughter: "Mommy! Does that mean in my daddy's country they no longer arrest anyone?"
Mommy: "I don't know, your daddy is saying that."
Daughter: "I didn't know daddy's country is so awesome."
Daddy said on American television: "In our country there is no poverty in the real sense."
Daughter: "Mommy! Who are poor people?"
Mommy: "Poor people are like our old neighbor, like people from your daddy's village, like the ones we see on the street."
Daughter: "Yes! I envy the people of my daddy's country."
Daddy said on American television: "In our country people can ask the president whatever they want."
Daughter: "Mommy! Does that mean daddy won't get mad anymore when people ask him questions?"
Mommy: "My dear! Shut the television off, these programs aren't for you…"
Daughter: "I know, they are for people of my daddy's country, and that country is awesome!"
Daddy said on American television: "In our country 98 percent of people support the government."
Daughter: "Mommy! What does 98 percent mean?"
Mommy: "It means a lot. It means from every one hundred people two don't like daddy."
Daughter: "Does that mean others like him?"
Mommy: "Yes, of course."
Daughter: "So this is not like our country where everyone says bad things about us and my daddy?"
Mommy: "How would I know?"
Daughter: "So why doesn't daddy take us to his country so that we don't have to stay in Iran?"
Mommy: "My dear, ask daddy about daddy's work."
Daddy said on American television: "Like many others in my country I watch Western music and Western channels in my country."
Daughter screams: "Mommy! Look what daddy is saying! He is saying in his country he watches foreign channels, how lucky is he!"
Mommy: "Maybe he means at their office they evaluate…"
Daughter: "Can't we also go to daddy's country to evaluate foreign channels?"
Mommy: "I don't know, ask him when he comes back."
Daddy said on American television: "Our judicial system is among the most advanced in the world."
Daughter: "Mommy! What does an advanced judicial system mean?"
Mommy: "It means the police don't arrest anyone for no reason…"
Daughter: "So it's not like in Iran where they took my classmate to jail because of her scarf?"
Mommy: "Why do you talk so much! Why do I care what your daddy says?"
Daughter crying and sad: "I will go with daddy to his country and never come back here, only when daddy comes to Iran will I come to visit you, but I'll stay there."
Daddy said on American television: "In our country power is in the hands of people."
Daughter: "Mommy!"
Mommy: "Shut up! Stop saying mommy, I'm tired…"
Daughter: "What does it mean that power is in the hands of people?"
Mommy: "It means people do whatever they like, like they do in foreign countries …"
Daughter: "So it means I can do whatever I want too?
Mommy: "You won't do that, don't be a bad girl!"
Daddy said on American television: "Women in our country have complete freedom."
Daughter put on her clothes and came to the door to walk out: "Mommy?" she cried.
Mommy: "What now, you little devil!"
Daughter: "I made up my mind, I want to go live in the country my daddy is talking about."
Mommy: "Why? What's missing here?"
Daughter: "Daddy said in his country women have complete freedom."
Mommy gets angry and says: "Damn your liar daddy and you! Let him return, let him step foot into this house, and I will do something to him so that he will never again go to New York and babble like this…"
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September 29, 2008
Pinocchio in New York City
Ebrahim Nabavi
I predict that when Iran’s president Mahmud Ahmadinejad returns to Iran after his stay in New York, he will need a nose job. This is because I doubt if there is another president in the history of mankind who has uttered so many lies in one day. He participated in interviews with several prominent newspaper groups in the US, and basically said whatever he wanted to. I think his successful tactic which should be followed by all presidents is based on three basic themes. Here are the guidelines. First, he should say: “These statements are wrong;” second, he should say, “I never said that;” and third, he should ask, “What about you?” Here is one of the interviews.
Interviewer: We are happy to have an interview with Iran’s president Mahmud Ahmadinejad. Did you have a good time in America, Sir?
A: Yes, America is a beautiful country with people who love the truth. But I am sure you can never ask Mr. Bush whether he has had a good time in America, because Zionists would not let you. But in my country, any body can ask the president this question.
Interviewer: We know that in Iran many newspapers are under pressure and many have been banned. Why are newspapers banned there?
A: This is Zionist propaganda. No country in the world has the freedoms of press that Iranian newspapers enjoy. Writers in Iran are absolutely free, and they even write poetry. Can you tell poetry in America?
Interviewer: But during your presidential term some 11 newspapers have been banned and I can provide you with their names.
A: I too can provide you with tens of names such as Newsweek and Times, but does this mean that they have been banned? In any case, no press outlets have been banned during my administration, and we actually reward our writers to write anything they want against us. You know, these writers are doing so well that they do not come forward to receive their awards.
Interviewer: Many of your critics, including students, have been imprisoned without any trials. Why do you imprison students?
A: Just this year alone I went to the University of Tehran to give a talk and thousands of students came to the gathering and asked me anything they wanted. Some of them even beat me up, which was ok with me, because they are like my own children. We have no need for such actions. 107 percent of university students support us, so why should we imprison them?
Interviewer: How can 107 percent of students support you?
A: This is because of special circumstances in Iran. You must come to Iran and see it for yourself. Then you will be able to make a better judgment yourself. What if I tell you that 124 percent of the population support the current government? These are the realities in Iran. If you wish to understand us, then you must understand these.
Interviewer: During your term, the police raid houses that have satellite receivers. Is this not limiting people’s freedoms?
A: We cannot stop the freedom of the police, because we believe in 360 degrees of freedom. The police can raid a house on the residents’ consent, so do you expect us to interfere in the private affairs of people? Naturally we cannot do this.
Interviewer: On your first trip to New York you had said that a halo of light surrounded you as you were giving your talk at the UN General Assembly …
A: I never said such a thing. In fact this is what my opponents have said.
Interviewer: But UTube has a short movie clip of your visit to cleric Javadi Amoli in which you say precisely this. Would you like me to show you the film?
A: In Iran we do not have a cleric by the name of Javadi Amoli. How can I visit someone who does not exist? Do you believe such a lie?
Interviewer: Ok. We will show the film and then later you give us your opinion.
[The video clip is shown as Ahmadinejad and others watch it.]
A: This film is a fabrication of the Zionists. How come you did not notice it? Everybody in Iran knows that the person in the film is not me.
The interviewer losses consciousness and another reporter takes his place.
A: Reality is always dangerous. Did you see how your reporter friend collapsed? In Iran, a reporter never looses his consciousness.
The new interviewer: Some of your opponents are calling for a referendum over the Islamic Republic, and you arrest them. Why do you not allow them to have such a referendum?
A: This is a statement by the Zionists. In fact, we had a referendum in Iran some six months ago and 98 percent of the public voted for the Islamic Republic again. Why don’t your television stations broadcast these events? It is because you are not allowed to. Truth is dead in the West.
The new interviewer: But as far as we know there has been no referendum in Iran during the last ten years. Was there really a referendum in Iran recently?
A: Yes, because that is what the public wanted. You censored this news. Because Zionists control the media in the West. No European country too published this news. Even Islamic countries did not publish it. Does this not show how victimized we are?
The new interviewer: But your own media too did not publish the news of this referendum that you talk about. Otherwise we would have known about it.
A: This is precisely the point. Freedom in Iran exists at 360 degrees, even for our own radio and television networks. They have the freedom to publish or not to publish the news of a referendum, and in this case they decided not to publish it. And we do not wish to impose anything on them. Unlike in the US, we do not decide what our media should do or publish.
The new interviewer: I have no other questions.
A; Does anybody else have a question? I can postpone my return to Iran for this. Finally I invite you to come to Iran to see the realities for yourself.
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