An interview with President Obama (Satire)
This is an assumed Obama interview with Iraq Occupation Times (IOT)
IOT: Thank you Mr President for accepting to talking to us.
Obama: It is my pleasure talking to those opposing the US occupation of Iraq.
IOT: As a graduate from Columbia University in international relations and with a degree in Law (J.D) from Harvard School of Law Do you believe that the war on Iraq was legal?
Obama: This is a debatable issue. The British attorney General thought it was legal.
IOT: But it was neither in self defence nor sanctioned by the UN Security Council.
Obama: I say it was a war of choice.
IOT: Have you ordered cessation of torture and dirty works in Iraq authorised by President G.W. Bush?
Obama: I don’t comment on security issues that may jeopardise the safety of our troops in Iraq.
IOT: In your Cairo speech of 04.06.2009 you mentioned to leaving Iraq to the Iraqis. But having 50000 US troops, 115000 armed civilian contractors, biggest embassy in the world, 7000 armed ‘diplomatic army’ besides hundreds of CIA and DIA operatives will not leave much space for the Iraqis to enjoy their freedom or exercise sovereignty?
Obama: Many of above measures may not prove to be necessary in the long run. The Iraqis have already elected their own government.
IOT: As you many know the US-selected and democratically-elected government of Iraq is imprisoned inside the US-established Green Zone. The US-imported President of Iraq Talibani) hasn’t travelled one single KM south of Baghdad. They are all considered by the Iraqis as stooges who entered the country behind US tanks.
Obama: I am aware of that. But progress in many fields will not happen overnight.
IOT: The Iraqis were happy to see you elected hoping for a new beginning with the US. Do you intend to apologise and compensate the Iraqis for the damage done by US “War of Choice”?
Obama: Super Powers don’t apologise. All Iraqis unlawfully killed by our soldiers were compensated with $2500 per victim.
IOT: You are aware that Bush-Rumsfeld’ Shock and Awe bombardment campaign dropped thousands of tons of bombs that destroyed Iraq infrastructure. Therefore the US is blamed for the lack of electricity and clean water after over seven years of the occupation. Do you plan to do something about it?
Obama: We have spent close to $US1000000000000 on Iraq and can’t afford spending more. Iraq is rich with oil and Iraqis can repair the damage. After all it is their own country.
IOT: How long the US plan to stay engaged in Iraq?
Obama: May be as long we have been active in Germany since end of WWII.
IOT: But the Germans didn’t resist and US GIs were frequenting bars and dancing halls; which is not the case in Iraq. Have you noticed that not a single American dares to sit in a café in Baghdad and enjoy a drink despite over seven years of US presence?
Obama: I believe the US presence in Iraq will eventually be tolerated.
IOT: Thank you Mr President for your frank views.
IOT: Do you plan implementing Israeli designs and attacking Iran sometimes in the near future.
Obama: Like former President G.W. Bush has already stated, all options are on the table.
Adnan Darwash, Iraq Occupation Times
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