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Friday, March 28, 2008

How great Ayatollahs treat their Wives

AIM ISLAM Great Article

Allamah Tabatabai [r]:Story 1‘

Allāma’s family life was extremely warm and pleasant. When his wife passed away he shed so many tears and was so saddened and moved that one day we asked him, “we should be learning patience and endurance from you - why are you affected such?”He replied:Death is inevitable. Everyone must die. I am not crying for the death of my wife. My tears are for the kindness, housekeeping abilities, and the love my wife had. I have had a life full of ups and downs. In the holy city of Najaf when we were faced with many difficulties, I was not even aware of the needs and the administration of our life [because she took care of them so well]. Managing our life was in the hands of my wife, and throughout our life not once did my wife do something that I said I wish she hadn’t done that, even just to myself. Nor did she ever not do something that I said I wish she had carried that out!Throughout our life together never once did she say to me why did you carry out that particular act, or why didn’t you do something! For example, you know that I work at home and am continually occupied with writing and studying. As a result I get tired and occasionally I need to rest and to renew my energy. My wife was aware of this. She would always have the kettle on and tea ready. Although she was busy with housework, she would pour me one cup of tea every hour. She would place it in my study and would return to her work until the following hour…how can I ever forget such love and kindness?!
Ayatullah Ibrāhīm Amīnī (author of self building)

Story 2

His [‘Allāma’s] behavior with my mother was incredibly respectful and friendly. Through his actions it seemed as if he was always eager to see my mother. We never saw them order each other to do or not do anything, nor did we see any discord between the two of them. They were loving, loyal and forgiving to each other to such an extent that we thought they never disagreed. The two of them were truly like two friends with each other.Prior to her death, my mother was ill and confined to bed for 27 days. During this period my father did not leave her bedside for a single moment. He left all his work to take care of her.At the same time my mother was an exceptional woman. She was patient when faced with difficulties and a meager lifestyle. She managed all our household affairs. She took care of our academic and social life and handled all our concerns. She worked with such efficiency and wisdom that my father was able to pursue his academic work with complete ease of mind.‘Allāma’s daughter

Story 3

“It was this woman who allowed me to reach this position. She has been my partner and whatever books I have written, half [of the credit] belongs to her.” This one sentence from ‘Allāma Tabātabā’ī is sufficient as an indication of his enlightened view of women. At another time he said:If a woman did not have importance, God would not have placed the lineage of the 12 Imāms in the progeny of Hazrat Zahra (a). Truly if a woman is noble and good she can make the entire world a rose-garden, and if she is bad she can make the world a hell…Women and men are partners, and after looking after the raising of her children, a woman must become aware and familiar with the affairs of her society.
‘Allāma Tabātabā’ī


Imam Khomeini [r]:

Observance of the rights of a wife:Imam always offered me the better place in the room. He would not start eating until I came to the dinner table. He would also tell the children: ‘Wait until Khanom comes.’ He maintained respect for me and was not even willing that I should work in the house. He would always tell me: ‘Don’t sweep.’ If I wanted to wash the children’s clothes at the pond[1], he would come and say: “Get up, you shouldn’t be washing.” On the whole, I have to say that Imam did not consider sweeping, washing dishes and even washing my children’s clothes as part of my responsibilities. If out of necessity I sometimes did these, he would get upset considering them as a type of unjust dealing towards me. Even when I entered the room, he would never say: ‘Close the door behind you,’ but waited till I sat down and then would himself get up and shut the door.[2]The Imam’s Wife60 years of living together and not one request for a glass of water:Imam had extraordinary respect for his wife. For example, I am not lying if I say that in the period of 60 years of living together, he did not even reach for food (on the dinner table) before his wife, nor did he have even the smallest expectation from her. I can even say that in the period of 60 years of living together, at no time did he even ask for a glass of water, but would always get it himself. If he was in such a position that he could not, he would say: ‘Is the water not here?’ He would never say: ‘Get up and bring me water.’ He behaved this way not only with his wife but also with all of us who were his daughters. If he ever wanted water we would all enthusiastically run to get it, but he never wanted us to bring and give him a glass of water in his hand.During the difficult last days of his life, each time he would open his eyes, if he was capable of speaking, he would ask: ‘How is Khanom?’ We would reply: ‘She is good. Shall we tell her to come to you?’ He would answer: ‘No, her back is hurting. Let her rest.’[3]
Siddiqa Mustafavi (Imam’s daughter)

Blessed am I that I have such a wife:Imam was very attached to his wife and had special respect for her, so much so that he placed his wife on one side, and his children on the other.I remember that once Imam’s wife had gone on a journey, and Imam was missing her very much. When he would frown, we would jokingly say to him: ‘When Khanom is here, Imam laughs, and when she is not here, Imam is upset and frowns.’In short, however much we teased Imam, he would not stop frowning. Finally I said: ‘Blessed is Khanom that you like her so much.’ He said: ‘Blessed am I that I have such a wife. No one else has sacrificed as much in life as she has. If you too would be like Khanom, your husband would also like you this much.’
[4]Siddiqa Mustafavi (Imam’s daughter)

I have come to wash the dishes:One day, as it so happened, there were many guests at Imam’s house. After the meal, I collected the dishes and took them to the kitchen. Along with Zahra, the daughter of Agha Ishraqi, we prepared to wash the dishes. However we saw that Imam himself had immediately come to the kitchen.I asked Zahra: “Why has Haaj Agha come to the kitchen?” I had a right to be surprised because it wasn’t time to perform wudu. Imam rolled up his sleeves and said: “Because there are many dishes today, I have come to help you.” My body started to tremble. My Lord! What am I seeing! I said to Zahra: “I swear by you to Allah, please request Imam to leave. We will wash the dishes ourselves.” This was really unexpected for me.[10]
Marzieh Hadide Chi (Dabagh)

http://al-islam.org/completeman/------The stories about Allamah Tabatabai [r] were from here: http://www.al-islam.org/eternalmanifestations/If anyone has any other inspirational stories about great scholars and how they viewed and treated their wives then please post.duas ws

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Rays Of The Sun



With the demise of Imam Khomeini on June 3rd, 1989, the world lost a great revolutionary and an unparalleled leader who awakened the Muslims, revived Islam and restored it to its pristine grandeur through his honourable and dignified life.

The Imam was a shining light in the history of Islam that continues to shine years after his demise. Millions flocked to his funeral; millions more have since congregated in mourning ceremonies and processions all over the world to pray tribute to him.

Much has been written about Imam Khomeini as a political and spiritual leader of the Islamic Revolution. However, the aim of this book is to give the reader an insight into Imam Khomeini's personal life, the man behind the scenes.

He was a perfect archetype of a complete Muslim in every facet of life. Indeed, this was a man who appealed to all levels of society and all backgrounds, especially the oppressed peoples of South Africa, Iraq and Palestine.

It is hoped, God Willing, that this compilation will be a great source of inspiration and benefit for readers from all creeds and backgrounds.

Translated by Abbas & Shaheen Merali

Holy City of Qom

Observance of the rights of a wife:



Imam always offered me the better place in the room. He would not start eating until I came to the dinner table. He would also tell the children: 'Wait until Khanom comes.' He maintained respect for me and was not even willing that I should work in the house. He would always tell me: 'Don't sweep.' If I wanted to wash the children's clothes at the pond, he would come and say: “Get up, you shouldn't be washing.”

On the whole, I have to say that Imam did not consider sweeping, washing dishes and even washing my children's clothes as part of my responsibilities. If out of necessity I sometimes did these, he would get upset considering them as a type of unjust dealing towards me.

Even when I entered the room, he would never say: 'Close the door behind you,' but waited till I sat down and then would himself get up and shut the door.

The Imam's Wife

60 years of living together and not one request for a glass of water:

Imam had extraordinary respect for his wife. For example, I am not lying if I say that in the period of 60 years of living together, he did not even reach for food (on the dinner table) before his wife, nor did he have even the smallest expectation from her. I can even say that in the period of 60 years of living together, at no time did he even ask for a glass of water, but would always get it himself. If he was in such a position that he could not, he would say: 'Is the water not here?' He would never say: 'Get up and bring me water.' He behaved this way not only with his wife but also with all of us who were his daughters. If he ever wanted water we would all enthusiastically run to get it, but he never wanted us to bring and give him a glass of water in his hand.

During the difficult last days of his life, each time he would open his eyes, if he was capable of speaking, he would ask: 'How is Khanom?' We would reply: 'She is good. Shall we tell her to come to you?' He would answer: 'No, her back is hurting. Let her rest.' Siddiqa Mustafavi (Imam's daughter)

Blessed am I that I have such a wife:

Imam was very attached to his wife and had special respect for her, so much so that he placed his wife on one side, and his children on the other.

I remember that once Imam's wife had gone on a journey, and Imam was missing her very much. When he would frown, we would jokingly say to him: 'When Khanom is here, Imam laughs, and when she is not here, Imam is upset and frowns.'

In short, however much we teased Imam, he would not stop frowning. Finally I said: 'Blessed is Khanom that you like her so much.' He said: 'Blessed am I that I have such a wife. No one else has sacrificed as much in life as she has. If you too would be like Khanom, your husband would also like you this much.'

Siddiqa Mustafavi (Imam's daughter)

He would never pass on his work to anyone else:

As far as possible, Imam was particular that he should not impose his work on others, but rather carry it out himself. In Najaf, it sometimes happened that from the roof, Imam would notice that the kitchen or bathroom light was left on.

In these cases, he would not tell his wife or anybody else who was also on the roof to go and switch off the light. Rather, he would himself make his way down three flights of stairs in the darkness, switch off the light and return.

Occasionally, he would also want a pen or paper that was upstairs. In this circumstance too, he would not tell anyone, not even his loved ones the children of Martyr Marhum Haaj Sayyid Mustafa (Imam's son), to bring them for him. He would himself get up and go up the stairs to get what he needed and return.

Hujjatul Islam Sayyid Hamid Ruhani

Imam is not crying at all:

It was around Dhuhr on the day that Marhum Haaj Agha Mustafa had passed away. Imam's house was full of people who had come to offer their condolences. When everyone had left, the Adhaan of Dhuhr was heard. Imam got up and went to do wudu and said: “I am going to the mosque.” I said: “Oh, Agha is not leaving his habit of praying congregational prayers even today.” I then said to one of the servants: “Quickly go and let the caretaker of the mosque know.”

When the people realised that Imam was going to the mosque, crowds of people from all over also flocked there. When we reached the mosque with Agha, the people who were crying and wailing opened the way and the Imam entered the mosque. The people remarked to each other with surprise: “What is this? Imam is not crying at all.”

Hujjatul Islam Furqani

I was scared that I would cry for other than Allah:

On the night of the martyrdom of Marhum Haaj Agha Mustafa, a Fatiha majlis (a service of prayer and condolence) took place in the Hindi Mosque in Najaf, and Agha Sayyid Jawad Shabbar recited from the pulpit. He narrates:

In that majlis in which Imam was also present, I narrated the masaib of Hazrat Ali Akbar (as), and also mentioned it 7 times from the pulpit, connecting it to my lecture. Imam sat throughout the majlis with complete calm.

Agha Sayyid Jawad Shabbar had wanted to make the Imam cry with these narrations so that his heart would become light, but he wasn't successful despite the fact that it (the death of his son) was a major calamity. A number of people who witnessed the Imam's state thought that Imam was not crying because he was in a state of shock from the heavy calamity. Therefore, after the majlis they went to the Imam who had returned home and asked: “Agha, you didn't cry at the masaib today?” He replied: “When he was reciting the masaib he was looking at me, and I was scared that if I cry it would be for other than Allah, i.e. it would be for the tragedy of my son, and not for the pleasure of Allah.”

Hujjatul Islam Sayyid Murtaza Musawi Ardabili Abarkuhi

Why is Hassan dishevelled like this?

Imam acted exactly according to all the instructions that he gave from the start, and in actuality, was an embodiment of those very instructions. He himself was the book 'Forty Hadith' that he had written in his youth. Suppose he spoke about riya (performing any action for the purpose of other than the pleasure of Allah) and reproached it, he himself would stay away from it with intensity.

I remember one day my son entered the house wearing trousers which I had patched up at one knee. Imam asked: “Why is Hassan dishevelled like this?” I jokingly replied: “It's the life of poor people, Agha.”

Immediately, his face became drawn, and he said: “You don't want to do riya.” I said: “No, why riya?” He said: “Be careful. Not paying attention to outward physical appearances has value. However, if you want to show (people) that I am such and such, it is riya.”

Imam said this sentence to me with the same intensity with which he had, at the age of 30 years, written in his book!

Fatema Tabatabai (Imam's daughter-in-law)

I have come to wash the dishes

One day, as it so happened, there were many guests at Imam's house. After the meal, I collected the dishes and took them to the kitchen. Along with Zahra, the daughter of Agha Ishraqi, we prepared to wash the dishes. However we saw that Imam himself had immediately come to the kitchen.

I asked Zahra: “Why has Haaj Agha come to the kitchen?” I had a right to be surprised because it wasn't time to perform wudu. Imam rolled up his sleeves and said: “Because there are many dishes today, I have come to help you.” My body started to tremble. My Lord! What am I seeing! I said to Zahra: “I swear by you to Allah, please request Imam to leave. We will wash the dishes ourselves.” This was really unexpected for me.

Marzieh Hadide Chi (Dabagh)

A piece of advice to solve family issues:

One of Imam's daughters narrates: “At the start of my marriage, I went to Haaj Agha so that he could give me some advice. He said: “If your husband is upset, or if he says something to you for whatever reason, or acts badly, at that time don't say anything, even if you are in the right. Leave it until he has calmed down, and then say what you have to.” He also gave the exact same advice to my husband.

In the beginning I didn't give this advice much importance. Later upon reflection, I saw that indeed the root of many of the family disputes came back to this very issue. Therefore, from then on, every time somebody has wanted advice about family issues, I have given them this very same advice of the Imam.

Hujjatul Islam Muhammad Hassan Murtadhavi Langarudi

Worn away bricks:

The simplicity of Imam's house in Qom during his life was an indication of his contentment.

It is well known that the bricks of the courtyard stairs were worn away. A builder had advised: “Get a number of bricks made so that these worn away ones can be replaced.” Imam responded: “Turn these worn away bricks around and let them be.”

Ayatullah Bani Fadhl

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